Second day staying back in school till 9pm and waking up at 5.45am.
I felt that today is just Tuesday, when is Friday gonna arrive?
But I really enjoy the times when we attend night classes + studying together in school.
Laugh our heads off for the slightest things and doing a lot of lame and silly actions.
I guess these were the moments I am sooooo going to miss upon graduation.
Will definitely treasure everything and anything that is happening for the next 2 months.
:)



I seriously can't imagine the days after we left Yuying.
No more daily interaction in school.
No more wearing school uniform, eating tgt in the canteen.
No more talking about jokes and doing whatever I like.
No more copying of homeworks.
No more escaping extra lessons together and take the mickey out of new relief teachers.
I think the most basic and simple things we're doing now I am really gonna miss.
It is things we took for granted.



Everything's gonna change after O levels.
As everyone move on and make new friends and trying to offer their talent to the world.
Pursuing different dreams, different paths, leading a different life.
It WILL be difficult to organise a class outing to gather everyone.
It WILL not be the same and WILL not be better as compare to seeing each other 5 days in a week.
The feeling will be different as everyone grow.
It will not be the 17 year old we're experiencing right now.



So from now on, I decided..
I am not gonna be angry or have any conflict with friends. It is the last year.
I will forgive and forget everything, no point holding on to it.
Although sometimes when I think of it I will still be very angry and upset about your behaviour.
Be happy, enjoy school, be motivated to study hard.
That should be the way.
Forget about how badly I did for EL oral. It should not affect my other subjects.
The more worries you have, the more problems it results.
Try to learn from the mistakes, be open to more possibilities and opportunies will come to me.
I am not gonna look down on myself, everyone's different.
As well as I am willing to learn and put in more effort-it all depends on me.
No point comparing, it just makes me more miserable.
Keep trying and if you try, it means a hope for miracle, giving myself another chance.
Leave everything to god and NOT to worry about anything.
Just believe in yourself, believe in god and let nature take its course.
And all my friends, this is a time to help me again!!
Be more willing to teach me and clear my doubts okay?
Be more patience although I am damn stupid you have to repeat twice or thrice.
It's gonna be fine,Jiahao :)
Continue to do what you know is right and always pray in your heart.
God can't help you IF you are not willing to help yourself. Stand up!!


One thing I am going to do: think of at least one thing that makes my day before I sleep.


*

Miss Ida came back to school. It was real good catching up with her.
Our literature file, notes, assignments, tests, attire, and everything was so perfect.
She was like the best discipline mistress together with Mr Neo.
I miss the old Yuying, a lot.
The last time we chatted was during the Yuying 100th Anniversary Food & Fun Fair
Reminded me a lot on our lower secondary memories as a Junior.
Time flies, my literature teacher in sec 1(2006) have seen us grow into sec 5(2010)
From being Junior to Senior.
Yuying used to be a really good school with MANY awesome teachers.
But due to the students behaviour, they left.
It was a loss, because they were so important for the growth of Yuying.
And with them leaving Yuying and new teachers coming in, it was totally different.
My life in Yuying was memorable. It was like the most exciting part of my life.
And teachers make an impact on me.
Lastly, congratulation Miss Ida for having a second baby! I am happy for you :)

I don't know if you're pretending to be nice or issit really comes out from your heart.
I hope you don't have any motive by behaving like this.
Because I am starting to believe in you but at the same time, suspecting you.
Your action is so out of a sudden, maybe you're trying to forget what had happened before.
I have no idea what filled your mind or what are you thinking.
You're not a easy person, you acted so well!


I am not that kind of Jiahao you had knew.
I told myself to live with dignity and pride and will not let others climb on top of me.
Kind people don't exist, they got taken for granted.
I hate leading this kinda life since pri school. I don't stand up for myself.
I keep forgiving, I told myself not to be pity or being over-sensitive.
But the end result is always very disappointing.
I shall just talk to you when necessary, unlike the past. :)


No, I will put on a fake smile too.

CLASS OUTING NEXT SATURDAY AT SENTOSA.


I am looking forward to it.
Hope everything will be good and not the other way round.
Next week is full of activites I wonder how can I find time to study man seriously.
I must make some sacrifices(watch less tv,less sleep,etc..)
Self Discipline is important, especially for this crucial period right now.
Wait, have I told you this?
I am mentally prepared to retain one more year to retake my O level as a private candidate.


Oh and today is the 13th. Nothing really bad happened to me though.
Just that I felt all my energy was being drain off after a 5hr sleep.(yes I felt MORE tired instead)
Slept from 3pm-8pm omg I loveee it :)
Then ended up I didn't follow up my timetable which is to study chemistry!!
Stupid QA I am going to understand that topic.
But my first priority definitely go to my EL ORAL next Thursday, 19 Aug.
I hope my tongue will not twist or anything. Speak smoothly with fluent English pleaseeeeee.
Don't need to act like one. Just be natural :)
I am worried I'll stumble when I am nervous.
And I AM THE LAST ONE!! I guess the examiner will be damn bored.
As there are more than 20 students in front of me.
So it is either I do VERY well to give answers that all the previous students never said before.
Or I do average as my answers is very common the examiners is like listen till sian already.


But one good point is the rest of the time all belong to me!!
There is no one else behind me anymore. So when it is my turn the hall will be mostly empty.
So maybe I'll be less nervous?

No matter first or last.
Just try my best and everything will be fine.
:)


PS : Whole class failed Geography and Social Studies for their Mock Exam.
Yes, that is how ridiculous my results is right now.
Geography : 19/50
Social Studies : 17/50

But I guess this is the kind of result when I never study and put in effort.
Just a mock exam, I will work hard for O's!!
I will never allow my humanities to get this kinda grade.

PPS : Whenever you feel like giving up, think of the reasons why you held on for so long.
My reason is because it is NOT easy to been through O level Chinese, N level and now,
taking the rest of the O level subjects.
It is the last stage. Before giving up and retake, I'll try my best and see what is the outcome.

[Edit]

So nice to see my role model singing in don't forget the lyrics show!
Wanted to attend the recording but couldn't find anyone to accompany me.

Just read a stranger's blog and she said..
1. made funny faces in front of the mirror
2. don't close the door when going in the toilet for a few mins.
3. will dance randomly.
4. talk nonsense to myself and laugh at my own


I did that too!!
For point 1, I will sometimes pose with my nerdy/geek specs or bring out my sunglasses to act cool.
Then I will very bhb and say : '' wah, how come I am so shuai ah?? ''
For point 2, totally like the stranger lor I will say '' don't peep hor '',
and the rest of the family members will say '' give me see I also don't want '' HAHAH!!
For point 3 and 4 is very common at home seriously. Especially point 4!!!



*


Been neglecting this blog. I don't have the time anymore. (I wonder if anyone is reading,seriously)
I find no point in blogging because ALL the pictures are at facebook already.
Posting it in my own blog is just a bigger version with just a few words.
But a post with all words and no pictures is super boring.
I lost my blogging bug.


Wasted my Thurs,Fri,Sat,Sun,Mon.
In which this time can be used to blog.
I can oganise and resize pictures and publish a long post about the recent events that is happening.
Also, these days are really good to study if I choose to make full use of it!!
But I choose to waste it instead. I decided to catch my sleep, my all time favourite. Who don't? :)


I would like to rant relentlessly here. There are so many things in my mind.
Life's such a bitch. But I am trying to face it positively.
I don't like the way people judge me, or saying anything behind my back about whatever I type here.
This is my space and I have all rights to rant or blog a proper entry.
There's no point ranting to good friends anymore.
Their reply is the same, they don't bother reading, they only care about their own life.
So yup, don't expect me to be your listening ear cuz I am also a busy person. Fair enough.
From now on, I'll keep everything to myself.


I want to be able to draw strength from the past and move forward.
Might not be now, but eventually i will.


PS : You don't appreciate.
You treat people depending on your mood.
You're biased to the people you like.
You pretended nothing happened.
You think whatever you do is always right.


Aiya, I miss the good old friends. ):
They are the best.
I miss those texting last year during examination period and your existence in Yuying.
'' Remember not to lose your momentum! ''
'' Jiahao, I have trust in you. ''
'' I'm sure you'll be able to do it. ''
Many good words that greatly motivated me. Thank you :)


PS : If any teachers is reading this, if I don't do your work. Don't bother to ask for it.
I am following my own timetable/schedule to study.
It IS pointless to do it cuz I haven't even studied for that particular topic.
I know what I am doing, so stop asking.
If I do badly for a class test, don't give a black face. I really hate it!!
Not as if like a small class test WILL affect your performance and thus, your bonus and overall ranking.
Cuz I only do those which I studied and I will most probably leave the rest blank or don't bother trying.
I am a sucker at maths, so stop asking why I made a basic unforgivable mistakes.
I have no idea too. You think I want?


Time to sleep. Good night all!